Elite Story Time II

[FRoG]

this is true...

I wake up one saturday afternoon and waltz downstairs to have a cigarette only to find that my friends had found the nastiest dog that ever walked before mine eyes and had to decided to take the poor wretch in. Apparently, they saw the dog lying in its own vomit in the middle of the street. It was just laying there. In its vomit.

I will now describe the dog: little bitch of a creature, shaggy as fuck, COVERED IN ITS OWN SHIT.

James says, "I want to keep it." I think, you want to nurture this defilement? Of course we keep it. He decides he wants to clean the stain-of-satan aswell. So we buy shit for the dog and try to clean it as it makes these weird raccoon sounds. Like, "cooOoooO, coOOoOo."

So after an hour of 'cleaning', the dog is not clean. Why? one might ask. The reason it was not clean is because the amount of shit covering this dog was so outrageously immense, a simple one hour washing simply would not suffice.

We went out and left it in the garage amongst a pile of blankets. He had some weird shitting issue that I didn't understand. It couldnt shit for some reason. I don't know why.

We decided to help the creature and cut off its dirtied and matted fur (several inches long). I bought an electric razor for this very purpose -- the cheapest I could find, which was $10. I also bought tic tacs.

Since I didn't know what the fuck to do I just started shaving its back, which was apparently the WRONG thing to do. Eventualy we began to cut the shit-fur off with scissors for another hour. We tired of this as it was sunday afternoon and resolved to continue hacking at the dog on monday after class.

I come home to find that the dog is GONE. My roommate tells his tale of walking home from class and running into the dog's owner. He finds that the dog is 14 years old. It is blind. It is deaf. It eats specially medicated food.

Now, we spent about $60 dollars on the fucktard, ten of that being mine, but that isn't even the issue I have. It is this: how SHITFUCKED is the owner that they could possibly be evaded by a DEAF BLIND 14 YEAR OLD DOG?

-the end-

[DoN]

frog some good comes out of this story 1. you have discovered the declining intellect of america and 2. it WAS worth your time because in your hand you have obtained tic tacs

[FiReWaLL]

nice sig

[FRoG]

merci